I'm doing better -- in large part, thanks to you and the triage you set up in your inbox. But, um--
Yes, that sounds good. I just thought -- well, I'm not sure if I can really talk about this with most people, they wouldn't understand -- but I knew you would, so...
[ She's rambling. Get it together, Lavellan. ]
--In the orb. I saw my future. I saw Solas and I. And... there was a baby. My baby. Our baby.
I never thought -- Oh, it was so perfect, Finnick. It was the sweetest little baby I've ever seen.
[ Oh no, now he's got Beleth feeling a bit weepy. She has been trying not to get overly emotional about the sight (again), but Finnick's reaction, and the news of his child, make that impossible to avoid. ]
You saw yours, too? And it was a boy? Oh, Finnick. I'm so happy for you. That must be such a relief.
[ He'd known his wife was pregnant, but with so much up in the air when he died, she can't imagine how it had been weighing on him -- at least she had not had that worry. ]
So much death had followed after the war. For both of us, I'm sure. I never thought -- Well, I never thought Solas and I would be in the position to be able to even think about children.
There was a time I thought children would be inevitable for me. But it wouldn't be... something that happened out of love. I thought it would be a duty, one I didn't look forward to. But it's entirely different, with Solas.
[There's a sniff. Don't mind him, having another little cry about this.
He tries to get it together as he listens to Beleth. He gets it- not thinking of kids as an option because it's impossible to see past all the immediate death and suffering. He'd always wanted kids but never wanted to raise them in such a cruel world- now, the knowledge that his son will grow up without fear is priceless.
He isn't quite sure what she means by having kids not out of love but out of duty- but it doesn't sound pleasant, no.]
That's so lovely. You'll both be such good parents. I'm so, so happy for all three of you- how lucky.
[He doesn't even feel a lick of jealousy that Beleth will someday have that future with Solas, while Finnick will probably never be able to be there with his family, not in the flesh. The grief of that still lingers underneath it all, but he's been processing that since his death, anyway. He's still just basking in the sweet knowledge that they're alive and okay. He's so happy for Beleth and Solas, happy that their love will be shared with a child. What a gift, for all of them.]
I found out that we won the war. Both of the tyrants were removed and Panem elected a new leader. My son will never have to participate in the Games, or even know about them, aside from a historical thing. Things will be more peaceful, at least that's my hope. It was all worth it.
[His sacrifice was not in vain. Finnick would choose to die a horrible death in a sewer 100 more times for this outcome.]
It must feel incredible to know that you built a world like that for your son. I know I said this before, Finnick, but I'm truly proud of you, and what you've done. That might sound silly to say as someone who isn't from Panem, but -- I really admire you.
[ Is the world that her child will be born to better? She doesn't know. Thedas was looking pretty rough when she left, and she and Solas would be living with the Fade, a thing few had accomplished. What life would their child have?
She'd figure something out. She always did. ]
I wish... that we could have our children play together. Do you think they'd be friends?
I say that like I know anything about the child, aside from that it exists. I don't even know the gender. Just that it was mine. But -- I'll meet them, someday.
[Alright, give him a second, because that made more tears well up and his throat get tighter. What a sweet thing to say, and he's torn between wanting to brush it off because it's so much, and just being absolutely touched.]
It wasn't- [A sniff. A steadying breath.] It wasn't just me. There were so many people working tirelessly and making huge sacrifices for the rebellion. But thank you, Beleth, that truly means a lot to me.
[And their kids playing together- well, that sends a rush of serotonin through his brain. He laughs a little breathlessly.]
I think they would. They both will have such cool parents, so how could they not be cool too?
[She'll meet them, someday. Yes. That's where a little grief, and a little envy seeps into him. Still, he's smiling, happy for her.]
I'm aware that it wasn't just you. Few are the rebellion that manages on the back of one person's sacrifices. [ Even Solas had help, at one point. ] That doesn't mean that I can't respect what you did. What you helped build.
[ She laughs when he talks about their parents being cool. Is she cool? Is Solas cool? She'll have to tell him--
The thought of Solas, along with Finnick mentioning that she can't wait, makes her realize she'll have to tell him... Ah. ]
...I'm looking forward to it, but I can wait. Because-- Finnick, I apologize for making this request after telling you something I was so excited for, but... If you see Solas, please don't tell him about the child I saw. Our child.
He's... not ready for that. He'd get in his head about it. He doesn't think he'll be any good as a father, and I think hearing about the baby would cause him undue worry. He'll be ready for it, eventually, but--For now. I'm sorry to ask it of you.
[ Sorry to ask him to hide this, and sorry that it needs to be hidden. But as bad as it feels to hide it, it would feel worse to see Solas so upset over news that had made her feel so giddy. It was not something she wished to experience. ]
Thank you. I appreciate it. It... It was fucking hard. So hard. So I'm glad it worked out.
[So much suffering, and so much of it could have been completely in vain. But it wasn't.
He listens with concern to Beleth's plea, and her apologies.]
Oh... Yeah, of course. It's not my place to tell him that, anyway. You do it when you're ready. And don't apologize.
[He definitely understands having doubts or trepidation about becoming a parent. It's a thing to be handled carefully, and only between the two of them. Finnick can understand, though, why Beleth wanted to tell someone about this who would understand and be happy for her, rather than someone who would be panicked by the news.]
Thank you, Finnick. [ She feels a surge of relief. Of course Finnick would understand, and would agree. ]
You are a true friend. As strange as arriving at Caldera has been, and the events that have transpired... [ First Finnick got hurt helping Ignacia, then Beleth got hurt during Cordelia's nonsense. ] ...I can't help but be grateful, anyway. That I've met such good people, and made friends of them.
I'm sure you're already aware of this, but if you need any help that I can provide, you need merely ask. How are things holding up with your inn?
I feel the same. [And perhaps the smile can be heard in his voice.] I'm glad we met, Beleth. You're a special kind of person.
You've already helped me, but I will. And you know it goes both ways.
The Inn is busy, but it's starting to settle out now, and it's been fun to meet all the new Visitors and get to know them. I'm enjoying it, even if I am bone tired.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
voice @enasal
I don't want to attempt to speak to you about something frivolous if you are not in the mood.
voice @odaring
[He sounds pleased to hear from her.]
It's been a bit. I'm okay, all things considered. How are you?
Mmm, on the contrary, I think a lighter conversation topic might do us some good, right about now.
no subject
Yes, that sounds good. I just thought -- well, I'm not sure if I can really talk about this with most people, they wouldn't understand -- but I knew you would, so...
[ She's rambling. Get it together, Lavellan. ]
--In the orb. I saw my future. I saw Solas and I. And... there was a baby. My baby. Our baby.
I never thought -- Oh, it was so perfect, Finnick. It was the sweetest little baby I've ever seen.
[ Not that she's biased or anything. ]
no subject
[As he listens, his head tilts to the side, curious and slightly concerned about what it is that only he would understand--
Oh.]
Oh, Beleth.
[Instantly, there are tears in his eyes, and it can definitely be heard in his watery voice.]
I'm so happy for you! I'm sure your baby was absolutely beautiful.
[Ugh, Beleth as a mom, Solas as a dad, the two with a little bundle of love... It's too much to even imagine.]
I saw... I saw my baby, too. My wife was holding him, and they looked--
[His speech gets interrupted by his breath hitching.]
They looked healthy- they looked okay.
[It sounds like he's still awestruck by this fact- like it's a miracle.
And it is, to him.]
no subject
You saw yours, too? And it was a boy? Oh, Finnick. I'm so happy for you. That must be such a relief.
[ He'd known his wife was pregnant, but with so much up in the air when he died, she can't imagine how it had been weighing on him -- at least she had not had that worry. ]
So much death had followed after the war. For both of us, I'm sure. I never thought -- Well, I never thought Solas and I would be in the position to be able to even think about children.
There was a time I thought children would be inevitable for me. But it wouldn't be... something that happened out of love. I thought it would be a duty, one I didn't look forward to. But it's entirely different, with Solas.
no subject
[There's a sniff. Don't mind him, having another little cry about this.
He tries to get it together as he listens to Beleth. He gets it- not thinking of kids as an option because it's impossible to see past all the immediate death and suffering. He'd always wanted kids but never wanted to raise them in such a cruel world- now, the knowledge that his son will grow up without fear is priceless.
He isn't quite sure what she means by having kids not out of love but out of duty- but it doesn't sound pleasant, no.]
That's so lovely. You'll both be such good parents. I'm so, so happy for all three of you- how lucky.
[He doesn't even feel a lick of jealousy that Beleth will someday have that future with Solas, while Finnick will probably never be able to be there with his family, not in the flesh. The grief of that still lingers underneath it all, but he's been processing that since his death, anyway. He's still just basking in the sweet knowledge that they're alive and okay. He's so happy for Beleth and Solas, happy that their love will be shared with a child. What a gift, for all of them.]
I found out that we won the war. Both of the tyrants were removed and Panem elected a new leader. My son will never have to participate in the Games, or even know about them, aside from a historical thing. Things will be more peaceful, at least that's my hope. It was all worth it.
[His sacrifice was not in vain. Finnick would choose to die a horrible death in a sewer 100 more times for this outcome.]
no subject
[ Is the world that her child will be born to better? She doesn't know. Thedas was looking pretty rough when she left, and she and Solas would be living with the Fade, a thing few had accomplished. What life would their child have?
She'd figure something out. She always did. ]
I wish... that we could have our children play together. Do you think they'd be friends?
I say that like I know anything about the child, aside from that it exists. I don't even know the gender. Just that it was mine. But -- I'll meet them, someday.
no subject
[Alright, give him a second, because that made more tears well up and his throat get tighter. What a sweet thing to say, and he's torn between wanting to brush it off because it's so much, and just being absolutely touched.]
It wasn't- [A sniff. A steadying breath.] It wasn't just me. There were so many people working tirelessly and making huge sacrifices for the rebellion. But thank you, Beleth, that truly means a lot to me.
[And their kids playing together- well, that sends a rush of serotonin through his brain. He laughs a little breathlessly.]
I think they would. They both will have such cool parents, so how could they not be cool too?
[She'll meet them, someday. Yes. That's where a little grief, and a little envy seeps into him. Still, he's smiling, happy for her.]
I bet you can't wait.
no subject
[ She laughs when he talks about their parents being cool. Is she cool? Is Solas cool? She'll have to tell him--
The thought of Solas, along with Finnick mentioning that she can't wait, makes her realize she'll have to tell him... Ah. ]
...I'm looking forward to it, but I can wait. Because-- Finnick, I apologize for making this request after telling you something I was so excited for, but... If you see Solas, please don't tell him about the child I saw. Our child.
He's... not ready for that. He'd get in his head about it. He doesn't think he'll be any good as a father, and I think hearing about the baby would cause him undue worry. He'll be ready for it, eventually, but--For now. I'm sorry to ask it of you.
[ Sorry to ask him to hide this, and sorry that it needs to be hidden. But as bad as it feels to hide it, it would feel worse to see Solas so upset over news that had made her feel so giddy. It was not something she wished to experience. ]
no subject
[So much suffering, and so much of it could have been completely in vain. But it wasn't.
He listens with concern to Beleth's plea, and her apologies.]
Oh... Yeah, of course. It's not my place to tell him that, anyway. You do it when you're ready. And don't apologize.
[He definitely understands having doubts or trepidation about becoming a parent. It's a thing to be handled carefully, and only between the two of them. Finnick can understand, though, why Beleth wanted to tell someone about this who would understand and be happy for her, rather than someone who would be panicked by the news.]
no subject
You are a true friend. As strange as arriving at Caldera has been, and the events that have transpired... [ First Finnick got hurt helping Ignacia, then Beleth got hurt during Cordelia's nonsense. ] ...I can't help but be grateful, anyway. That I've met such good people, and made friends of them.
I'm sure you're already aware of this, but if you need any help that I can provide, you need merely ask. How are things holding up with your inn?
no subject
You've already helped me, but I will. And you know it goes both ways.
The Inn is busy, but it's starting to settle out now, and it's been fun to meet all the new Visitors and get to know them. I'm enjoying it, even if I am bone tired.