Fortunately, he'll probably understand without her having to explain much. Unfortunately, it will fucking kill him to hear about it. Definitely best discussed later, when they're both more stable. Finnick is intentionally allowing her to guide the conversation, not bringing up any new information that could be upsetting unless she asks (like Mags' death, which he doesn't know if she knows about yet).
Sex with Annie had always been fun, and it had always been filled with love, compassion, and care, moreso than any other sex he ever had. Annie's bed was a safe place for him when no other beds felt that way, and he'd do anything to ensure she felt the same about him, even after trauma. Especially after trauma.
"Forever. Yes." He strokes his thumb against her fingers.
"I want to marry you, Annie. If the rebels win this war, we could start a new life, one where we're free and belong only to each other. That's what we need to look forward to."
Not owned by Snow. Not at the beck and call of Capitol citizens. Not forced into Games. If they had a kid, that kid could live free of fear, never attending a reaping in their life. It's scary to allow himself such hope. He'd been denying it, until now, but now that she's here, hope is easier. Necessary, even.
"Marry me?" She'd always wanted it. Always knew it wouldn't happen. People in the Capitol weren't even allowed to know how close she and Finnick were. They kept her to the side when cameras arrived to showcase how training was going, or how charming Finnick was. Annie was a forgotten Victor. Mad girls didn't make for great television.
She squeezes his hand.
"Finnick-" she hesitates. She wants to marry him. More than anything in the world. She's dreamed of it. She bites her lower lip. "You want to marry me?"
"Of course I do, love," he says quickly, the words spilling out of his mouth as though he's been holding them in for too long. "I have for a long time, it just wasn't worth bringing up before because it couldn't happen. But now... Maybe we actually could, at some point."
He's right. They could get married now. They can be together publicly, not some dirty secret kept hidden away because it would ruin Finnick's image and profitability.
They could get married.
They could have a family. In name. In blood.
"Finnick- oh!" She leans down and kisses the grin from his lips. "Yes! Of course! Want to- want to marry you!" She giggles, curling her toes against his calves. Married! Them!
"Annie Cresta-Odair." She liked the way it sounded. Like a wave against the beach.
Finnick kisses her back, laughing breathlessly. Her answer isn't a surprise, per se, but it is a relief and a delight. Almost unbelievable that this morning Annie was in the clutches of the Capitol, and now she's here in his arms talking about the very real possibility of marriage. What a day.
"Love the sound of that. Music to my ears." He hates hiding Annie away. She's beautiful, she's radiant, she's adorable, and he's proud of her. He's proud to be with her, and he hates having to act like he isn't.
He kisses her again, and he's so happy that for a moment he forgets he even has the capacity to feel anything else.
"If the new world is safe for children after all of this, maybe we could even..."
She fixes him with a look and says, "Finnick Cresta sounds nice, too." If he wanted to shed his entire pre-Rebellion persona and become an entirely new person. It's good that she can tease him still so easily.
Really, any name they went with, she was happy.
She meets his kiss.
"You could!" She had always wanted children, but not in the world like it was. As the child of a Victor, any child she had was sure to get reaped, pulled into the spotlight unwillingly from the moment they were conceived. Oh, to have a child with Finnick, though. Full proof of their love, right there where they could touch and feel them. There were risks, of course, Annie's mental state would surely play a large role in how such things went, but she wasn't thinking of that. She was only thinking of watching Finnick and their son or daughter play in the waves as the sun set behind them.
"Yes, Finnick. Marriage and children. A family." Tears prick at the corner of her eyes, but she cannot stop smiling.
"It does." He's not particularly attached to his name, and really, it might be a burden lifted to cut his associations with his public identity. Finnick Odair is for the rich to consume. Finnick Cresta is for her alone.
A family. A family. Not just their little group of Victors, but small humans who would take after them, who they could raise and shape all their own, without the terrible interference of the Games. It's a hope beyond hopes, a pipe dream, and yet when it makes Annie beam like that, he can't possibly deny the dream to either of them.
"A little boy... Or girl... Or both..." Finnick can't even decide what he would want more. He'd teach them to swim, to fish, they could live on the beach, live a simple life.
"Oh, Annie..." Tears fill his eyes as he squeezes her close again. These hopes are foolish and he knows it, but after the horrible few months they've had, he can't help but indulge in some joy.
"Or both!" She tells him, her toes curling in excitement. Marriage, a family, children. She'd always been good with children, helping to teach some of them to swim before her Games. Afterward, people were afraid she'd try to drown the children, or find herself lost in her own head to the detriment of the pupils. But she'd had her little brother, only six years old when he'd been killed, alongside her parents.
Turns out, mad girls didn't make for good Victors, because you couldn't control them any more than they could control themselves. They didn't understand the way others did, what would happen if they stepped out of line. So they had to be taught another way. A visit of a few peacemakers in the middle of the night, the noise of a hovercraft rising above the waves. Careful words aimed at the surviving child by a man who smelled too much like roses, even over the smell of salt.
She'd always wanted children. And to have them with Finnick?
"Happy," she repeats, the idea of happiness a far-off dream. She'd like to be happy. Happy without the backdrop of sorrow that had firmly placed there when her name had been called that fateful day.
"And you!" She tells him, "a father! You'll be so good! So kind and patient." Just like he'd been with her, with Mags, with the trainees.
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Sex with Annie had always been fun, and it had always been filled with love, compassion, and care, moreso than any other sex he ever had. Annie's bed was a safe place for him when no other beds felt that way, and he'd do anything to ensure she felt the same about him, even after trauma. Especially after trauma.
"Forever. Yes." He strokes his thumb against her fingers.
"I want to marry you, Annie. If the rebels win this war, we could start a new life, one where we're free and belong only to each other. That's what we need to look forward to."
Not owned by Snow. Not at the beck and call of Capitol citizens. Not forced into Games. If they had a kid, that kid could live free of fear, never attending a reaping in their life. It's scary to allow himself such hope. He'd been denying it, until now, but now that she's here, hope is easier. Necessary, even.
no subject
She squeezes his hand.
"Finnick-" she hesitates. She wants to marry him. More than anything in the world. She's dreamed of it. She bites her lower lip. "You want to marry me?"
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A sheepish grin grows on his lips.
"Um... That is, if you'd want to."
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They could get married.
They could have a family. In name. In blood.
"Finnick- oh!" She leans down and kisses the grin from his lips. "Yes! Of course! Want to- want to marry you!" She giggles, curling her toes against his calves. Married! Them!
"Annie Cresta-Odair." She liked the way it sounded. Like a wave against the beach.
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"Love the sound of that. Music to my ears." He hates hiding Annie away. She's beautiful, she's radiant, she's adorable, and he's proud of her. He's proud to be with her, and he hates having to act like he isn't.
He kisses her again, and he's so happy that for a moment he forgets he even has the capacity to feel anything else.
"If the new world is safe for children after all of this, maybe we could even..."
no subject
Really, any name they went with, she was happy.
She meets his kiss.
"You could!" She had always wanted children, but not in the world like it was. As the child of a Victor, any child she had was sure to get reaped, pulled into the spotlight unwillingly from the moment they were conceived. Oh, to have a child with Finnick, though. Full proof of their love, right there where they could touch and feel them. There were risks, of course, Annie's mental state would surely play a large role in how such things went, but she wasn't thinking of that. She was only thinking of watching Finnick and their son or daughter play in the waves as the sun set behind them.
"Yes, Finnick. Marriage and children. A family." Tears prick at the corner of her eyes, but she cannot stop smiling.
no subject
"It does." He's not particularly attached to his name, and really, it might be a burden lifted to cut his associations with his public identity. Finnick Odair is for the rich to consume. Finnick Cresta is for her alone.
A family. A family. Not just their little group of Victors, but small humans who would take after them, who they could raise and shape all their own, without the terrible interference of the Games. It's a hope beyond hopes, a pipe dream, and yet when it makes Annie beam like that, he can't possibly deny the dream to either of them.
"A little boy... Or girl... Or both..." Finnick can't even decide what he would want more. He'd teach them to swim, to fish, they could live on the beach, live a simple life.
"Oh, Annie..." Tears fill his eyes as he squeezes her close again. These hopes are foolish and he knows it, but after the horrible few months they've had, he can't help but indulge in some joy.
no subject
Turns out, mad girls didn't make for good Victors, because you couldn't control them any more than they could control themselves. They didn't understand the way others did, what would happen if they stepped out of line. So they had to be taught another way. A visit of a few peacemakers in the middle of the night, the noise of a hovercraft rising above the waves. Careful words aimed at the surviving child by a man who smelled too much like roses, even over the smell of salt.
She'd always wanted children. And to have them with Finnick?
She kisses the tip of his nose.
"Our family. No one can take it away. Just ours."
no subject
Hope is the only thing stronger than fear.
"They can grow up without all of that fear. They can be happy."
Not traumatized, not broken, like Finnick and Annie are. But...
"I think you'll be an amazing mother, Annie. Our children will never once question whether they're loved." He kisses her lips again.
one whole-ass novel later...
"And you!" She tells him, "a father! You'll be so good! So kind and patient." Just like he'd been with her, with Mags, with the trainees.
"And they'll never have to fear. Never."