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[odare]

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[odare]

Yeah, I guess. But I want everyone to have fun, even if they don't know me. I want the party to be for everyone.

[He's speaking sort of quietly now.]

[laserhawk]

. . . There's no party that can do that. Just like there's no way to please everyone.

[ god, he's being a downer. should he lie? but dolph's never been good at lying either. ]

I think it's more important to chase your own happiness. And I'm sure the people will follow. People who enjoy that. And people who care.

[odare]

[Finnick exhales, not quite a sigh, and turns to rest his elbows on the counter, looking at his bottle and beginning to pull off the label.]

I guess that's just me, I always want to please everyone.

[He looks up at Dolph with a small smile. It's not exactly a downer, but Dolph does always make things feel... Deep, even something like talk of a party, which Finnick didn't think would get deep at all.]

But yeah, I will. I'll probably be having too much fun to notice if someone isn't.

And... If a party isn't your scene, we could do something just the two of us instead? Because I would like to see you.

[laserhawk]

It's not a bad thing. It's just . . . tricky because it can hurt when they don't.

[ it's never been his problem. he was a terrorist in the eyes of eden and its media. public enemy number two. where once he did tours for sick children and their "laserhawk" toys probably burned them in disgust.

he has manageable expectations. he is who he is, despite eden, despite everything. he may not be as charming or kind as others, but at least he is himself. he can own that.

dolph blinks for a moment. ]

I'll still come if you want me to. Like I said, I'm just not very . . . party person. But if you prefer something just between us, I'm fine with that too.

[odare]

Mm. If they don't, I'm not usually hurt, I just try again.

[He smiles.]

Which... Is exhausting.

[He... Didn't expect to say that part out loud. But it's true. It can be completely and utterly exhausting to always be what others want you to be.]

I would love to see you there... Why not both? That way you won't feel obligated to stay at the party if you're not feeling it.

Or is that too greedy of me? [He laughs. Honestly, he almost said "whatever you prefer", but that would be a bit too obviously people-pleasing where they're already talking about that.]

[laserhawk]

[ dolph . . . extends a hand and briefly pats his head. a bit awkwardly. ]

You should just be whoever you want. Be greedy, be selfish, be anything. That's what living is all about. The freedom to be yourself.

We can do both.

[odare]

[Finnick exhales a gentle laugh through his nose, looking down sheepishly at the bottle he's picking at.]

I'm not totally sure who I am.

[laserhawk]

Okay.

[ it's normal. sometimes he doesn't either. ]

Who do you want to be?

[odare]

[He furrows his brow as he stares at the little bits of label he's pulling, scratching at. He thinks for a while. He remembers his conversation with Night Sky on her birthday.]

I want to be... Someone who makes a difference. I want to help people and make things better generally for people who are struggling.

[laserhawk]

Then that's who you'll be.

[ there's no doubt in his voice. it's clear and unwavering, like always. ]

Just give it time.

[odare]

[He nods, then looks up at Dolph again.]

And you?

[laserhawk]

[ he blinks, nonplussed. ]

What about me?

[odare]

Who are you, and who do you want to be?

[He's curious. And he doesn't like to be the only one sharing things.]

[laserhawk]

[ dolph falls silent. he turns the beer bottle in his hands. he's a cyborg. what he is has been defined for him, even if he's shedded a couple of labels and gained new ones in his departure from eden.

he's just dolph laserhawk now. no longer captain. no longer a terrorist. no longer . . . alex's. no longer the warden's ghost. beyond that . . . he doesn't need to be anything else. ]

Who I am is what you see. I'm just someone who owns a club.

[ he looks down at his beer bottle once more. ]

But I guess . . . I want to be someone who is loved. Who gets to be happy. Who is no longer betrayed. That's good enough for me.

[odare]

[Finnick raises a brow. Someone who owns a club. What an odd way to identify oneself. Though, Dolph obviously wants to leave his past behind, and that is his profession in this new world, and plenty of people identify themselves by their professions.]

Then you will be.

[Finnick smiles. Dolph can easily be loved. Finnick is sure that he is already. Finnick can also see himself loving Dolph, as a friend if nothing else.]

[laserhawk]

[ dolph snorts. ]

We'll see.

[ his luck would have to vastly improve for that sort of thing. ]

But I try. One step at a time.

[ he's not going to give up on it. ]

[odare]

[Finnick frowns.]

What, you think it's that unlikely that you'll be loved? Or is it the happiness you'll see about?

[Happiness is hard to achieve. Especially for people who come from worlds like they do.]

[laserhawk]

[ dolph pauses, considering his words. ]

No. It's not unlikely. The person who loved me . . . sold me out. He said he had to give up the thing he loved the most to achieve revolution for the people.

I'm not unlovable. I'm just tired of being left behind for something more.

[ alex, livio, astarion. they all had a bigger calling than dolph. jean loves him but he's married. so dolph just takes what he gets and hopes for a someday. ]

I just want something to last.

[odare]

Mmm.

[He gives Dolph a sympathetic look. He understands that feeling a little bit. In his last world, everyone wanted to go home. Everyone wanted to leave him behind for the more important things they had going on in another world, including his own partner.]

It's a lot to hope for in a place like this, but I hope you find something that does.

[He isn't sure just how often people disappear in this world. Maybe some people stay a very long time.]

And for what it's worth, I don't plan to leave you behind. The only way you'll be rid of me is if I'm yoinked to another universe. Otherwise I'll be a thorn in your side.

[laserhawk]

[ that prompts a light chuckle. ]

That's fine by me.

[odare]

Good.

[A smile.]

So where do you stay, anyway? Do you live with anyone?

[laserhawk]

I live in one of the treehouses. By myself.

[odare]

[He frowns.]

By yourself? Do you like living alone?

[laserhawk]

[ no, he hates it actually. ]

It's what I'm used to.

[odare]

[Seems like a no...]

I'd invite you to live here if I could. There's no one you could make your roommate?