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[odare]

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[abandonhumanity]

Yes. We didn't have motor vehicles where I grew up. Horses were used for everything, though the Survey Corps' were specially bred. They didn't fear titans in the slightest.

[Okay, so maybe he has a favorite animal! The sort you can use to effectively kill things!]

[odare]

That's impressive. Can't believe there's a horse out there somewhere that's braver than I am.

[abandonhumanity]

An entire fleet of them.

It's rumored they're worth the value of an average citizen's lifetime income.

[odare]

A single one? Whoa. I guess it's not average citizens riding them, then

[abandonhumanity]

Not at all. Compared to the rest of Paradis' military, the Survey Corps was extremely small. Most people figured that choosing that regiment was as good as suicide.

Honestly, they weren't wrong.

[odare]

Were they the only ones fighting the titans?

no need to watch past 1:21 (or at all) cw: really fucked up death/grief shit if you do watch past

[abandonhumanity]

For the most part, yes. The Military Police were in charge of petty crimes within the walls, and the Garrison Regiment patrolled the perimeters, but titans tall enough to be a threat were rare until the wall was first breached. Even after that, the majority of the titans were outside of the secured walls. That was the Survey Corps' territory.

[Eren remembers being a child and watching the Scouts return from their expeditions whenever they'd pass through Shiganshina. He wanted to desperately to be one, even as he watched them march in, bloodied, defeated. They were the bravest people he could imagine. They were making a difference. They were saving the world.

[Will they still?]

damn man.

[odare]

What was your role in the military?

[abandonhumanity]

I was in the Scout Regiment. The nature of my rank was unique.

I was primarily utilized for my titan. [Ain't that puttin' it fuckin' lightly!]

[odare]

Hm... I see. Wait, what's the Scout Regiment

[abandonhumanity]

[Oh. He made that a bit confusing, he realizes.]

Sorry.

The Scout Regiment is specifically the division of the Survey Corps that ventured outside of the walls into titan territory.

Other divisions of the Survey Corps oversaw things like logistics, caring for the horses. Things like that.

[Here he is, just casually talking about his career like defecting wasn't the most difficult thing he'd ever had to do - like he was ripping 80% of his own life away. He doesn't feel perturbed, though. Talking to Finnick feels alright. He's just contented to see "odaring" keep appearing in his notifications.

[He took a seat on the couch instead of pacing a few minutes ago and didn't even notice.]

[odare]

[It's weird to read the word "sorry" from Eren, even about something small. He's pretty sure he's never heard him say that before.]

Oh, wow. A titan to fight other titans, that makes sense I guess. How did it feel?

[abandonhumanity]

How did what feel?

Fighting? Transforming?

[Being a human weapon from the age of fifteen?]

[odare]

Being used.

[abandonhumanity]

[...

[Huh. What a question.

[Even to this day, Eren doesn't tend to think of it that way; he also can't deny it. It's disquieting.]

I was proud to be.

[Used, a Scout, a monster, special.

[The void aches like an open wound.]

[odare]

I guess that makes sense. You were protecting people with your specific abilities.

[It's far from how Finnick felt about being used, but they were used for very different purposes.]

[abandonhumanity]

[It feels...like an oddly intimate confession somehow, even though it's not exactly a secret:]

I'd wanted to be a Scout since I was a child.

[Not...much more needs to be said than that, he figures. It feels self-explanatory.

[Perhaps this:] I don't regret it.

[Even given everything, it's true (after all, he never could have gotten where he is now without...)]

[odare]

It's good that you got to be what you wanted to be.

[Even if it wasn't by choice, or if that's a very violent thing to do so young and in general, it's good that Eren got something out of it.]

[abandonhumanity]

[Eren feels...entirely stunned by that answer. It's probably untrue if you're looking at things from an objective standpoint, but it makes Eren feel...

[Is "heard" the right word?

[Let him make up his own mind for once about whether or not it was his, hers, or someone's else's fault that he turned out the way he did.

[It's only ever been his. There's some freedom to that. For a while, he got to be what he wanted to be; he got to believe he was that sort of person.]

I'll pay you if you bring some of that wine to me.

[Fuck the damn wine...]

No rush. [Get your ass over here.]

[odare]

[Finnick's lips tighten into a little line.]

What makes you think you have to pay me?

[abandonhumanity]

[Eren recalls their conversation from the night before - pairs it with all he knows of Finnick and his past and - yeah. Way to go, Jaeger.]

I only meant that if you spent your credits on it, I'd give you the credits back.

I'll just come with you instead. That way I can pay myself.

[Nice...save? Eren's not great at them.]

[odare]

[Oh. Of course Eren didn't mean it... Like that.]

It's alright, I don't mind spending a few credits on something for you. You should come here though, it's almost sunset. It's nice.

cw: suicide mention

[abandonhumanity]

[Ha. Wine and a sunset. Finnick used the word "romantic". This is suicide.]

Where are you?

[odare]

I'm on the beach.

[He drops a pin of his exact location.]

I don't want to move yet, so pick up the wine on the way if you want to.

[He sends Eren the address of the little shop, too. It's down the street toward his apartment and he wants to stay on the beach. Finnick's not sure when he decided it was time to be waited on. Apparently just now. He wonders if Eren will actually do it, come to him, buy him wine.]

(text > action)

[abandonhumanity]

[Of course he's on the beach. Eren avoids it.

[He almost backs out.

[He wouldn't. Can't. Separating Finnick from the ocean would be like separating Armin from it. Impossible. It's both or nothing.]

Alright.

[Eren doesn't feel like he's waiting on Finnick (if he did, he definitely would not be coming), but he does feel somewhat pathetic hiking over to District 1 to buy wine best paired with watching a sunset.

[It's...embarrassing. And he's doing it anyway.

[He wants to see him.

[So, sure enough, he shows up as the sky starts to turn pink. Out in public, there's no chance he'll be as close to Finnick as he wants to be, but at least he'll be close.

[He finds him. Sits down next to him in the sand. He tries not to look at the water as he passes Finnick the bottle.]

I didn't bother with glasses. [He wonders if his usual dead tone will scare Finnick away now that he knows it's half bullshit. Oh well. They're not safe in his apartment anymore.]