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[odare]

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un: odaring

[odare]

[Leaving Eren's apartment after making them a very late breakfast (okay, it was lunch, or maybe even supper), he felt like he'd just been sucked into an alternate universe for the second (third, fourth, fifth?) time. A universe where Eren was capable of caring and even being affectionate. It made the world feel kind of upside-down.

He decides to do his own thing, the things he usually does to feel normal and like himself. Swimming, running, making bread, collecting shit on the beach. He gives Eren space, since he knows he nearly scared him off. He'd told Eren to take the lead, so Finnick will let him decide how often and on what terms they talk, for a while. He wouldn't want to rush and smother him.

Besides, he's curious how long it will take Eren to break and text him first. Or if he'll just ignore Finnick entirely. Especially once a couple of days pass with no word, he figures Eren is trying to put space between them, so maybe he ought to try to move on from the incident. He knows Eren cares, but maybe he doesn't want anything to come of the night they shared, after all. And that's... Fine. He tries not to let it bother him, but it does anyway.

But as he emerges from the lake and dries off, he checks his device, and there is not one, but two messages from Eren. Spaced 20-something minutes apart, but both about the same subject. There's no way he was thinking about that wine for more than 20 minutes, so he must've been thinking... About Finnick. He smiles to himself.]

Hey. It was from a little liquor shop in my district. All I remember is it had a dog on the label. That's honestly why I bought it

cw: demeaning language toward...people...idk LMAO

[abandonhumanity]

[Eren doesn't realize he's been caught. That's a kindness on Finnick's part. He breathes a sigh of relief just seeing "odaring" pop up on his device, and that's...honestly more than a bit humiliating. At least he's alone (he doesn't want to be alone).]

Dog person, are you? I hear people tend to prefer one over the other.

[The other being cats, but he...figures that's a given? He's never personally had a preference, but he's not exactly fond of animals by default (or people he considers to be animals!).]

[odare]

[Finnick has learned to read between the lines in his life, and that skill comes in handy with Eren. He'll entertain whatever cover conversation he wants; he's happy to hear from him.]

Yeah, I like dogs. Which do you prefer?

horse girl eren jaeger confirmed

[abandonhumanity]

[He is happy to hear from him, and in his mind, this conversation is perfectly casual; he doesn't have to betray anything deeper yet, and he's grateful for that. He doesn't assume that Finnick is playing along or anything like that. He truly has no idea he's been assessed so accurately in this.]

I never had pets. I spent more time around horses than anything.

[odare]

[After getting blackout drunk together, fighting to the death, holding each other all night, they are finally at the serious phase of their relationship: what's your favourite animal?]

Did you ride them for transport?

[abandonhumanity]

Yes. We didn't have motor vehicles where I grew up. Horses were used for everything, though the Survey Corps' were specially bred. They didn't fear titans in the slightest.

[Okay, so maybe he has a favorite animal! The sort you can use to effectively kill things!]

[odare]

That's impressive. Can't believe there's a horse out there somewhere that's braver than I am.

[abandonhumanity]

An entire fleet of them.

It's rumored they're worth the value of an average citizen's lifetime income.

[odare]

A single one? Whoa. I guess it's not average citizens riding them, then

[abandonhumanity]

Not at all. Compared to the rest of Paradis' military, the Survey Corps was extremely small. Most people figured that choosing that regiment was as good as suicide.

Honestly, they weren't wrong.

[odare]

Were they the only ones fighting the titans?

no need to watch past 1:21 (or at all) cw: really fucked up death/grief shit if you do watch past

[abandonhumanity]

For the most part, yes. The Military Police were in charge of petty crimes within the walls, and the Garrison Regiment patrolled the perimeters, but titans tall enough to be a threat were rare until the wall was first breached. Even after that, the majority of the titans were outside of the secured walls. That was the Survey Corps' territory.

[Eren remembers being a child and watching the Scouts return from their expeditions whenever they'd pass through Shiganshina. He wanted to desperately to be one, even as he watched them march in, bloodied, defeated. They were the bravest people he could imagine. They were making a difference. They were saving the world.

[Will they still?]

damn man.

[odare]

What was your role in the military?

[abandonhumanity]

I was in the Scout Regiment. The nature of my rank was unique.

I was primarily utilized for my titan. [Ain't that puttin' it fuckin' lightly!]

[odare]

Hm... I see. Wait, what's the Scout Regiment

[abandonhumanity]

[Oh. He made that a bit confusing, he realizes.]

Sorry.

The Scout Regiment is specifically the division of the Survey Corps that ventured outside of the walls into titan territory.

Other divisions of the Survey Corps oversaw things like logistics, caring for the horses. Things like that.

[Here he is, just casually talking about his career like defecting wasn't the most difficult thing he'd ever had to do - like he was ripping 80% of his own life away. He doesn't feel perturbed, though. Talking to Finnick feels alright. He's just contented to see "odaring" keep appearing in his notifications.

[He took a seat on the couch instead of pacing a few minutes ago and didn't even notice.]

[odare]

[It's weird to read the word "sorry" from Eren, even about something small. He's pretty sure he's never heard him say that before.]

Oh, wow. A titan to fight other titans, that makes sense I guess. How did it feel?

[abandonhumanity]

How did what feel?

Fighting? Transforming?

[Being a human weapon from the age of fifteen?]

[odare]

Being used.

[abandonhumanity]

[...

[Huh. What a question.

[Even to this day, Eren doesn't tend to think of it that way; he also can't deny it. It's disquieting.]

I was proud to be.

[Used, a Scout, a monster, special.

[The void aches like an open wound.]

[odare]

I guess that makes sense. You were protecting people with your specific abilities.

[It's far from how Finnick felt about being used, but they were used for very different purposes.]

[abandonhumanity]

[It feels...like an oddly intimate confession somehow, even though it's not exactly a secret:]

I'd wanted to be a Scout since I was a child.

[Not...much more needs to be said than that, he figures. It feels self-explanatory.

[Perhaps this:] I don't regret it.

[Even given everything, it's true (after all, he never could have gotten where he is now without...)]

[odare]

It's good that you got to be what you wanted to be.

[Even if it wasn't by choice, or if that's a very violent thing to do so young and in general, it's good that Eren got something out of it.]

[abandonhumanity]

[Eren feels...entirely stunned by that answer. It's probably untrue if you're looking at things from an objective standpoint, but it makes Eren feel...

[Is "heard" the right word?

[Let him make up his own mind for once about whether or not it was his, hers, or someone's else's fault that he turned out the way he did.

[It's only ever been his. There's some freedom to that. For a while, he got to be what he wanted to be; he got to believe he was that sort of person.]

I'll pay you if you bring some of that wine to me.

[Fuck the damn wine...]

No rush. [Get your ass over here.]

[odare]

[Finnick's lips tighten into a little line.]

What makes you think you have to pay me?